This past week Naftal left our little world and went to Heaven, where true life begins. It was a lot to take in, a lot to handle when I’m so far away from “normal” and my family. But God has everything under control, and He’s given me an amazing peace about Naffy. I miss him so much, but I only cry selfish tears when I miss him. I don’t actually want him to be here, because who would choose earth over Heaven? No one should. Two things I want to process about Naftal: one) the doctor over his case, and two) saying goodbye to boys.
One: Ros told all the missionaries at the Monday meeting that our doctor had explained to her how the head doctor on Naftal’s case directed the other doctors under him not to provide anything except Paracetamol and a multi-vitamin. The doctors under this head doctor, according to our doctor, were upset about this instruction. My first reaction to hearing this news was: oh my gosh that is disgusting and horrible, we have to pray for this doctor’s heart because no one should live like that –ever. And I was thankful for this reaction, I was glad not to hate the doctor. But now that I’ve thought over the millions of motives this doctor could have had, I really, really hope that God just gave him wisdom. Even in the States, Naftal’s future would have been bleak. He probably would have lived for many more months, but I doubt he would have been happy. I don’t think he would have been very comfortable at all. I pray that God gave his doctor wisdom and foresight that Naftal really wasn’t going to live very long. And once again, no one would ever choose earth over Heaven, if they were in love with the Lord. I love to imagine what Jesus and Naftal could be doing. That’s really special. I also really hope (and think) he gets to hang out with my Granddad and Adam.
Two: Simois & Daniel are moving back home next week. For so many reasons, this breaks my heart but makes me smile. At first I was only upset, but now I’m mixed up between being really joyful that their family is going to be a real family, and wishing we could all just go to Heaven now like Naftal. I know this may sound odd, but I don’t like thinking about how Simois and Daniel are moving out of the center into a world where I can’t contact them. It’s what I fear about moving away from the centre in general.. no longer will I have easy (or any?) access to these boys’ lives and hearts. I have so much security in Naftal right now that I just so desperately wish I had with all of the boys, especially Simois who I’ve grown so close with. I’m still processing through all of this, because like I mentioned, it’s great and completely awesome that they get to be a family. I just have to pray for the future of all our boys with a very committed heart. I want them to grow into men of God and the centre provides a nice(r) bubble for this to happen than (possibly) the community they could live in outside of Iris. I don’t want to worry about anything, or be discouraged, I know God’s going to work everything for His plan and purpose. This is going to require a lot of prayer on my part so that God really has HIs time to talk me through everything.
…just thoughts..
