hmm... thoughts on faith...

It was March 4th when I had the conversation with my mom that went something like "you're invited to Mozambique, if that's what you'd like to do after graduation." Panic set in soon after this, because many months before you could have easily caught me day dreaming of living with my Aunt and Uncle in Mozambique and working with little kids! ....only God can pull something like this together.... When that initial conversation happened with my mother my mind exploded. I kept thinking, "What?!?! This can actually work out? Why had I been so confirmed in believing it couldn't happen? I was so silly for dismissing the idea, but thank you Lord for bringing it back up!" Another dream I dismissed early in life was to live in Africa and never need shoes again. I can remember having this dream vividly when I was 12 years old. It's pretty crazy, I know. Anyways, my point is that God made this work out for me. When I said "I guess there's no way..." He said, "uhm, you just wait and see. ::chuckle::"

So I set my sights on Mozambique. And I have no idea how I'll get there or what I'll do once I'm there... and as my plans progress and dates are being set, I still have no idea!! I'm getting to the point where I'm telling everyone I'm leaving, which to me is the point of no return, but I still have no money or job. Haha! Well, once again, God steps in and sends me off to Houston. Where I not only spend quality time with my grandmother and make irreplaceable new friends, but I get enough money to fly me to Moz! And then I start getting checks from church, friends, family, and complete strangers and I somehow find myself with a bank account filled with enough money to last me a month in Moz!

What I'm trying to get at is that I am only on the cusps of understanding what faith really is... faith isn't (always) knowing why you're doing something. Sometimes it's not about the details, but I love details... God often sets a desire in your heart and then provides a way for that desire to work out in your life. Of course, it's not always this simple --but I think it more often than not, is. In this trip, for me right now, it is just that simple. God said "Go." a long time ago in my heart, and after battling a lot of fears and voices saying "You can't." I just decided to go for it. If it's a God-given desire then it will work out. This has been my mantra for many months. ***along with a lyric from a Miley Cyrus song: strength is something you choose*** Many months following were filled with "How?" and "Why?" It's not about why I'm here, that's not my motivation for leaving Richmond. It's about God showing me His way. This entire experience (thus far!) has been the most explicit example in my life of seeing and going God's way instead of my own. Faith is just going. In this capacity, faith is just saying "Ok, Lord, You're clearly opening the path for me in this direction... so I'm going to go. And I hope, one day, you'll show me all the reasons why you placed me here." I like this. It means I'm a character in a mystery.